Monday, October 31, 2011

My Favorite Halloween Story

OK, so if you know me personally (as most of you do) and were around me last Halloween, you may have already heard this tale. If so, too bad; it is a festive story and I’m telling it again. If not, good for you; it still cracks me up.

So last Halloween, I decided that the best way to overcome my awkwardness over large groups/social situations would be to attend an older crowd party in Woodstock hosted by an acquaintance. Typing this now, all my mental naysayery about how it “would only be weird” sounds more like reasonable decision-making at work, but alas, I often ignore my own good advice.

ANYWAY, so it was the costume party of a 40-something man I know through community theater. A lady friend (Heather) and I were going together, so we decided to attend as “double rainbow”, a viral video from earlier that year. We each wore a shirt blazoned with a felt rainbow that read “All the Way” across the front and “What does this Mean?” across the back. Looking back, this was a poor choice.

The guy/all his friends were older, thus unfamiliar with the “viral video” we spoke of. Nobody “got” what we were supposed to be, so in their eyes, we were just a couple of wacky ladies wearing matching rainbow shirts. I should now note (and here’s where I really should have thought this through), that the host’s sister is a lesbian and approximately 80% of the female guests were as well. And there Heather and I were, rocking our rainbow shirts, a concept costume, which we (at first) didn’t know that nobody got.

About an hour in, we realized people assumed we were a couple. This was fine with me; Heather’s a cute lady. But as we really got talking to people, though, we started hearing some unusual things.  One woman was like “All the way! Exactly! I’m so proud you can be who you are.” And: “You’re right. What DOES this mean?” At first we were confused, but then we realized what she must have thought and just laughed. But then this other woman (who I believe had had a few too many cocktails) stormed over to us and started hassling us pretty aggressively.

“What are you trying to say with those shirts?” she said. “I mean, are you lesbians?”

“Oh, no! We’re not, but our shirts aren’t about Pride. They’re from that viral video—double rainbow?” I explained.

“Are you trying to tell me the two of your came here in matching rainbow shirts and that has ‘nothing to do with Pride?’ I think you thought you were being real funny. Well, guess what? I don’t think that’s funny at all.”

“No! We didn’t think it would be funny like that, we just thought it would be funny because—well, because it—”

“Because, because, because! I keep here you saying ‘because,’ but you haven’t explained to me what you’re trying to say!”
It was definitely a yikes situation. She was pretty drunk/country and would have been up for a brawl if another lady hadn’t stepped in at that point.

Anyway, when I went home that night, I immediately sent that guy and his sister the link to the video. I didn’t want their friends running around saying what a hater I was! I’m not a hater—of ladies who love ladies OR Halloween! 

Do you have any wacky Halloween tales?

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