Today is the last day of our SCUBA course that takes place in a pool. Don’t worry! We still have a few more instructor-guided dives in the water, but they are in an actual body of water, not the neighborhood Y where the swim team is practicing just a few lanes over and blasting Lady Gaga over the loudspeaker (I’ve got no beef with Gaga, but I am excited to see some fish).
I’m not going to lie, though. I’m not super good at this whole SCUBA thing. I’m actually relatively concerned that I might drown. You see, it’s just not intuitive for me to breathe only through my mouth like it is for some other people. ALSO, sometimes when I get stressed out (e.g., at the bottom of a pool strapped to a significant amount of weight) I forget to breathe at all, which apparently can lead to pulmonary tears. Yikes.
So this morning JP looks at me all serious and is like: “Elisabeth, since this is our last day in the pool, I need you to take this seriously.”
“Because this is the last time [our instructor] Connie will be with us.”
“Yeah, I got it.”
“And I know she’s really nice, but in the real world, it’s not going to be like that, so when you go to the pool tonight, let’s pretend like this is real life, okay?”
And then I punched him in the nose. OMG. Like I’ve been goofing around this entire time because I think I’m so funny or something! I think the more likely explanation is that I’m just a spaz who’s just not good at SCUBA diving. Pretend like this is real life…ridiculous!