True Life: I’m Turning into My Mother

Sadly, I think this is unavoidable. (Sorry, mom! You’re not that bad.)

Here’s the tale:

So things have been pretty tragic in my life lately (not hyperbole). It has been brutal, but my adorable boyfriend is doing his best to keep me in good spirits. Specifically, he has been extra nice, but he also keeps offering to buy me “prizes,” aka gifts, to make me feel better. I haven’t really been in the mood for gifts, but last Tuesday, it struck me; I knew what I wanted my prize to be—Tina Fey’s new memoir, Bossypants.

For the record, I have a huge lady crush on Tina Fey and will always accept Fey-related paraphernalia as gifts.

Anyway, as soon as I realize this is what I want, I email JP my request and include very specific hyperlinks to where the book can be purchased…not like the time I sent him the link to the Amazon home page and he mistakenly thought I was requesting all the random baloney found there, but that’s another tale for another time.

So I go home very excited about the prospect of my new book and am wondering if he will take me to Barnes and Noble that very night to pick up a copy. When I get to my house, however, what should I see on the front hall table but a book-sized package from Amazon?!

“What’s this?” I ask him.

“I don’t know. It has your name on it,” he says. So coy.

I rip into the package only to find the thing I had requested that very morning—a shiny new copy of Bossypants!

“Oh my gosh, JP! You are magic!”

“What is it?”

“How did you know?! Did you secretly order it like a week ago?”

“Is that that book you wanted?”

Now, as JP’s picture is placed squarely next to guileless in the dictionary, at this point, I realize that the book really isn’t from him. But where could it have come from, I wonder. The receipt only has my name and shipping address on it. A QUANDRY! Could someone have sent it as a gift without their name showing up in the packing material?

After about five minutes of pondering this CONUNDRUM, a vague memory from a few months ago returns to me. I had just heard about the book—set to be released in April—and I immediately went to Amazon.com to check it out. At the time, the pre-order price was down to around $13, and I suddently remembered thinking; I will definitely want to read this book—especially for $13! Preordered!

I think the worst part is how I really thought JP had blown my mind on this one, but alas, I’m just losing my marbles and becoming my mother. Sigh. At least I have a great new book to entertain me!

“It’s so hard to believe it’s 2011 already. I’m still writing ‘Tina Fey, Grade 4, Room 207,’ on all my checks!”

UPDATE: I'm not insane! After reading my post, my friend emailed me to let me know that this book was Part II of a care package they had sent and let me know to be on the look out for. But, in classic sitcom style, the book arrived the day before the main package, thus the confusion. It's a good thing John Paul didn't slyly accept credit for the gift as several have suggested. True Life: I have the best friends!!!